What I Wish You Knew

Setting Boundaries Is Not Selfish: Navigating Guilt, Family Expectations, and Immigrant Parent Relationships

For me, setting boundaries didn’t feel empowering.  It felt cruel.  It felt selfish.

I was raised in a culture where you don’t say “no” to people older than you, or to those in positions of authority.  Respect meant compliance.  Love meant self-sacrifice.  Boundaries were seen as cold, individualistic, and – let’s be honest – too Western.

Relationship

Yellow Flags in Relationships

Gaslighting, toxic relationships, red flags. These are a few hot terms that are often used to describe unhealthy relationship dynamics. The discourse about healthy behavior in relationships has been at an all time high with our current generation labeling what are considered to be “red flags” (i.e., dealbreakers) or toxic behavior. It’s so common that you can do a quick Google search to pull up lists of “red flags to look out for” in relationships.

Culture and Identity

“Acting Cute” as a Survival Strategy?: Aegyo(애교), Fawning, and EMDR Therapy

You might see aegyo in K-pop or K-dramas, such as BTS idols or characters in “Crash Landing on You” using childlike voices and big expressions. These behaviors show how cultures use cuteness to build relationships, ease tension, and connect with others.

Let’s look a little deeper. Could behaviors like aegyo serve as a defense mechanism?

Culture and Identity

Hwa-Byung and EMDR: Bridging Culture and Trauma Therapy

While Hwa-byung is rooted in Korean culture, it reflects a universal human experience. The toll of holding in strong feelings can show up in anyone, not just those from Korean culture. Suppressed emotions are part of the human experience, and when they’re not processed, they tend to show up through the body.

Relationship

When “Peace” Replaces Intimacy

On the surface, a home without conflict feels like a sign of health, maturity, or deep spiritual peace. And sometimes, it really is. Some couples have genuinely learned how to navigate differences with gentleness, open hearts, and deep emotional safety. When that’s happening, a calm home is a beautiful gift.

But in my work with couples, I often see a different reality. Far too often, “we don’t argue” doesn’t mean a relationship is thriving. It means conflict isn’t safe to express.

Culture and Identity

Cultural Differences with Immigrant Parents: Navigating Identity, Family Conflict, and Healing

If you identify as a child of immigrant parents, you can probably instantly recall a moment when you felt a clear difference between Western society’s culture and the culture you see inside your home. Intergenerational cultural dissonance, also known as acculturation gap, is a term that encompasses what most immigrant families experience - a conflict of cultural values between parents and children.

Parenting

How to Raise Emotionally Resilient Kids

Did I do enough? Did I give them what they needed emotionally? If I could go back, what would I do differently? I cannot rewind the early years. But I can sit beside you, especially those of you in the thick of toddler meltdowns and elementary school tears, and share what I would be more intentional about if I had the chance.

Because almost every parent I meet carries the same quiet question: Am I raising a resilient child?

What I Wish You Knew

Things Get Better: Finding Hope When Life Feels Hard, Uncertain, or Stuck

When we are young, so many things feel like they will make or break our lives. Not getting into a hoped for school. Falling short on an important exam. Struggling to find where you belong. Losing a first love, or wondering if you will ever find one. Making a choice about your future and worrying you have chosen the wrong path. In those moments, it can feel as though everything depends on getting it right.

What I With You Knew

You Have More Mental Health Support Options Than You Think

Mental health struggles often leave us feeling stuck in our current situation. Negative thoughts begin to sink in: “Nothing is changing.” “I’m not getting better.”

But what if I told you that there are always options? That you don’t have to settle for the status quo, and that there are more mental health resources available than you may realize?

What I Wish You Knew

Shame Is a Terrible Coach: Why Self-Criticism Doesn't Lead to Lasting Change

Somewhere along the way, you learned that being hard on yourself means you are disciplined, humble, and committed to growth….

This is the lie that brings people to my office, week after week: I must criticize myself to become better. If I am not harsh with myself, I will repeat my mistakes. If I am not brutal with the truth, I will soften, stagnate, and fail to change.

What I Wish You Knew

When Faith and Relationships Hurt: Finding Healing When the Answers Don't Come

When someone is suffering, especially within a faith context, the mind naturally searches for meaning. Why did this happen? What did I do wrong? What is God trying to teach me? We try to make sense of what feels unbearable. That impulse makes sense. It comes from a deep longing to feel safe, held, and not abandoned. But healing does not always come from resolving the question. It often comes from understanding what the question is protecting inside of us.

Self-Care

What to Expect in Therapy: Honest Expectations and Lessons from the Therapeutic Process

Have you felt lost or overwhelmed in your process of therapy? Are you struggling to see if therapy has been working for you? Whether it is your first time in therapy or you have been in therapy for a season, therapy can feel confusing for many individuals. For those of you who may be feeling hesitant about starting therapy or you are confused about your experience, our hope is to offer insight on how the therapeutic process may be and to lay out some honest expectations for you.

Self-Care

Perfectionism, Anxiety, and Procrastination: Understanding the Cycle and How Therapy Can Help

I often work with individuals struggling with perfectionism, chronic self-criticism, anxiety, and procrastination. While these experiences can feel frustrating and isolating, they are often deeply connected, and they can be understood with compassion rather than judgment.